Make Me Up Before You Go-Go/Script

Make Me Up Before You Go-Go
Episode 32
Season	3
Episode	6
Year	2006

Characters

• Juniper
• Lila
• Jody
• Ophelia
• Roger
• Ray Ray
• Monroe
• Unglian Banticores
• Monotuke
• Rachel

Transcript

Intro

(Episode begins at the school where Juniper and Lila walk out)

Lila: I'm trying, June!

Juniper Lee: I know you are, Lila, but if you're gonna blend as, you know, a regular human being, you're gonna have to try a little bit harder not act like a Bigfoot.

Lila: Like what?! What'd I do wrong today?!

(Flashback to Lila in the cafeteria where the lunch lady gives Lila two hamburgers, who reacts in disgust)

Juniper Lee: Well, that thing today at lunch with the hamburgers.

Lila: I'm a herbivore! You can't expect me to eat that stuff.

Juniper Lee: No, but you didn't have to, you know, bury the hamburgers outside.

(Flashback continues with Lila burying the burgers outside as everyone watches and Juniper facepalms, and Lila jumps to a tree and eats tree bark)

Juniper Lee: And while we're on it, tree bark-- still not a food group.

(Flashback ends)

Lila: Tasted better than those burgers.

Juniper Lee: Even still, people kind of noticed that. Oh, um, speaking of which, you can't be lugging around 125 pounds of schoolbooks. You're trying to pass for an 11-year-old girl, not a library.

Lila: (sighs as she drops her bag) I'm so not fitting in, am I? Even your friends think there's something weird about me.

Juniper Lee: Look, I told them you just moved to town and that I think you're awesome, I know they're gonna like you. My friends are some of the nicest kids you'll ever meet.

Jody Irwin: I hate everyone in this whole stupid world!!

(They see Jody, Ophelia and Roger walking towards them)

Jody Irwin: It's unbelievable, it's unthinkable! They cancelled tonight's astronomy club field trip to the observatory!

Ophelia Ramírez: Oh, no, nerd crisis.

Jody Irwin: It's not funny! I've been preparing for weeks. I've read up on it, I've bought goggles, a protective hat, stocked the basement with canned goods in case it's a bad comet, like the one that destroyed all the dinosaurs-- all that! And our science teacher, Mr. Peck, has to go and get sick.

Roger Radcliffe: Yeah, he's been barfing up Monday's taco bar for, like, two days now. (holds up a taco) I gotta say, the first six tasted pretty funky, but then they started sliding real easy. (eats the taco and burps)

Juniper Lee: But, um, Jody, couldn't you just the comet with your dad's telescope?

Jody Irwin: Oh, my gosh! Why didn't I think of that? June, you're a genius! (gasps) You could all come over and watch the comet!

Ophelia Ramírez: We? How did I just get a ticket to Dorksville?

Jody Irwin: Come on, it'll be so much fun! Everybody can come to my house. (gasps) We'll have a slumber party and do makeovers!

Roger Radcliffe: Chick night! Count me out.

Jody Irwin: Don't be silly, Roger, you have to come. Then we can finally do something with your hair.

Roger Radcliffe: What's wrong with my hair? (Ophelia takes his hat off, exposing his frizzy hair as a squirrel pops out and runs back in)

Juniper Lee: Boy, uh, Jody, I don't know. Is your sister gonna be home?

Jody Irwin: Rachel?

Ophelia Ramírez: Yes, Rachel! Unless you have any other psycho older sisters.

Jody Irwin: Aw, come on, guys. My sister won't be a problem, I promise. Besides, Rachel's got a new boyfriend, so she's really really in a good place right now.

(They witness Rachel nearby)

Rachel Irwin: (talking on the phone with her boyfriend) You smiled at Becky Adelstein?! I saw you! Do you understand how much I hate you? Do you?! (two boys nearby run away) It's over, Brandon, over! I never wanna speak to you, hear from you, or see your mean, rotten smiling at Becky Adelstein's face ever again! (throws her phone and starts an emotional tantrum) Why me?! WHY ME?!?!

Jody Irwin: So, I'll see you guys at 8:00, then?

(cue the theme song)

The Sleepover

(Scene opens at night time with Juniper and Lila at Jody's front door)

Lila: A slumber party is all about makeovers? What do I know about makeup and doing hairdos?

Juniper Lee: Well, you used to be entirely covered in hair, I thought that would give you a leg up.

Lila: All I know how to do is search everybody's head and body for ticks. Should I start there?

Juniper Lee: Lila...

Lila: Look, I gotta leave. If I take off now, they'll never miss me.

Juniper Lee: No, no, no, no, calm down, we're not running anywhere. (Jody sticks her head out the door)

Jody Irwin: Run! Go! Don't look back! Save yourselves! (Rachel pushes her away and opens the door)

Rachel Irwin: Get in maggots! Move it, move it, move it!

(Cut to the inside of the house)

Rachel Irwin: (sweetly) Sleepovers, who doesn't love a good sleepover? (gets angry) ME, that's who! Especially since Mom and Dad agreed to this thing, then decided to go out tonight to make me stay home on dweeb duty! So listen up and listen good! If I'm disturbed in anyway, and I mean anyway, you will pay dearly! (gets in Lila's face) Do I make myself clear?! (Lila growls at her and Rachel backs off) Okay then, I'll be in my room.

Ophelia Ramírez: Tell me you can teach me that.

(Cut to the telescope by the stairs)

Jody Irwin: Now, I've checked the weather eight times in the last hour and within a 30 mile radius around my house. We still should get a clear look at the comet in... (sees the telescope) Oh, no, my dad didn't bring the telescope up to the deck! We'll never get it upstairs ourselves. It weighs... (Lila grabs the telescope) ...a ton.

Lila: I got it. (carries the telescope upstairs)

Juniper Lee: Wow, it's amazing what adrenaline can make you do in times of crisis.

Jody Irwin: Uh, what crisis?

Juniper Lee: You know, she really wants to see that comet tonight. Hey! Are those new shoes?

Jody Irwin: Yes! It was hard picking out footwear that wasn't going to clash with the comet or the telescope.

(They go upstairs, as Ophelia and Roger are about to, but...)

Rachel Irwin: And I can't hear myself think! Keep it down! (her phone rings and she answers) Hello? Sorry?! Sorry?! Little too late for sorry! I moved on, Brandon! That's right, I'm swapping emails with a boyfriend's friend! He has an accent and great taste in jewelry!

Ophelia Ramírez: Move it before she gets a second wind. We're going to the roof.

Roger Radcliffe: The roof? But I thought you hated the uh... astrology and stuff.

Ophelia Ramírez: I do. I have something else in mind.

(Cut to the roof where Ophelia just finished dyeing Roger's hair)

Roger Radcliffe: How's the 'do lookin'?

Ophelia Ramírez: Fabulous, Roge, very natural.

(It shows Roger's hair dyed in a leopard print while Juniper, Lila and Jody watch the constellations)

Lila: And that constellation of stars forming a W is called Cassiopeia.

Jody Irwin: Wow, you really know your stuff. (Lila looks at Juniper, who winks at her) It's great to find someone else who loves astronomy as much as I do.

Lila: Well, when you live in the woods, it's the only one way you could find your way around. (Jody gets confused)

Juniper Lee: Luckily, none of us live in the woods. (laughs nervously and points to the sky) Hey! Is that the comet?

Jody Irwin: (checks through the telescope) Yes! Wait, maybe not. No, I think it's a firefly. Yeah, and a bat just ate it. Maybe it's just to cloudy to see the comet. I can check the weather again...

Roger Radcliffe: (pops in, showing his leopard print hair to the girls) So, ladies, how's the Roge man lookin'? Top side! Is it livin' up to the usual Rogeness standards of hotness? (turns around to the back of hair that says "Monkey Boy" shaved on it)

Ophelia Ramírez: (comes in) Right on the money, Roger. Okay, who's next? Lila, how about I give that coif of yours a few highlights? Nothing fancy, we'll start small...

Lila: No, uh, that's okay, thank you. I, uh, I like my hair lighted low, you know, pretty much the way it is, thanks.

Ophelia Ramírez: Okay, fine, suit yourself.

Juniper Lee: I know you're nervous, but you might wanna make a little effort to--

(She and Lila gasp and look up to see a yellow fireball falling from the sky and lands somewhere in the forest)

Juniper Lee: Did you see that?

Jody Irwin: The comet? Did I miss it? (checks through the telescope) No, it's just another firefly. And a bat ate it.

Juniper Lee: Uh, oh, my gosh. Uh, Lila, we totally forgot to, um... you know, that thing we forgot. Jody, we'll be back in a few, right, Lila?

Lila: Oh, yeah. Uh, just gotta check out a thing. We're definitely not going to investigate a magic fireball that just crashed into the woods. (gives Juniper a thumbs up)

Jody Irwin: Okay, hurry back! You don't wanna... Oh! (checks through the telescope) Firefly, bat. Those little guys just don't stand a chance. (Juniper and Lila run off)

(Cut to the woods where Lila runs on all fours while Juniper jumps from the trees until they get to a crater and investigate the strange-looking fireball)

Arrival of a Purple Creature

Lila: Whoa, man, is that a UFO?

Juniper Lee: Oh, no, I've read about these. I think it's an I.T.O., an Interdimensional Traveling Orb, a magic ship that can pass between realms.

(The ship opens to reveal a small purple creature)

Juniper Lee: Oh, no. It looks like the little guy's hurt.

Lila: (she sniffs the creature) Yeah. Well, cool. Ready to go?

Juniper Lee: Go? Lila, we can't just leave him here, he's injured and defenseless. He needs our help

Lila: I guess. But he smells really funky.

Juniper Lee: (sniffs him too) Yeah, well, sure he's not exactly a walking air freshener, that's no reason to abandon him.

Lila: No, I don't mean he smells bad, I mean smells bad, up-to-no-darn-good bad. Trust me, June, first rule of living in the forest, bad smell equals bad news.

Juniper Lee: Well, we're not living in the forest.

Lila: Yeah, I guess that's a good point. Maybe I should, uh, maybe I should stay out here in the forest. (takes off her sandals)

Juniper Lee: Lila, that's not what I meant. I--

Lila: No, no. (unties her ponytail) Your friends don't like me. They're never gonna like me. (jumps out of the crater) I'm no good at being a normal girl, I don't know any normal girl things.

Juniper Lee: Lila...

Lila: No, no, no, no, no! We tried and it's not working! I'm not gonna fit in! Not now, not ever!

Juniper Lee: Lila, chill! Come on, you can't just give up. Just because you're different doesn't mean you can't have a normal life, or mostly a normal one. Look, I fight giant monsters and talk to my dog, a dog who talks back, by the way. And I go to school, and I have friends. I am a normal kid. You will be, too. (Lila smiles at her) Now, put your shoes back on and fix your hair. We're going back to Jody's, you are going to have a good time, and then we're gonna... (picks up the purple creature that coos) Aww, and then we can find out more about this cute wittle fella.

(She walks as she carries the purple creature. Unknown to her, the creature drops strange stones that crawl up the tress, as Juniper and Lila head back to the house, and they glow to mess with the electricity. Cut to Jody's bathroom where the lights are messed with and the purple creature whimpers)

Juniper Lee: Oh, don't be scared. It's okay, it's okay. We're just having wittle trouble with the electwicity.

(The creature coos happily)

Juniper Lee: Aww. (to Lila) Seriously, how cute is he?

Lila: He's probably faking it.

(More of the strange stones crawl behind the toilet and mess with the lights)

Roger Radcliffe: (knocking) Hey, ladies! How about we do the bathroom mirror a favor and let the Rogster check out his cool new look?

(It shows Roger's hair now dyed in peacock form as Jody and Ophelia giggle from behind a wall. Jody's cat sees this and growls)

Juniper Lee: Uh, yeah, just a second! (to Lila) Listen, Monroe's gonna be here any second to translate the little guy's language. I need you to stall.

Lila: And how am I gonna do that? (comes out of the bathroom; reluctantly) Who wants to do my hair?

Jody Irwin: Me! Me, me, me, me!

Ophelia Ramírez: Oh, she finally comes around! Come here, babe, you're all mine.

Jody Irwin: How about you cut one side and I'll cut the other?

Ophelia Ramírez: Fine, agreed.

(They carry Lila by the arms and walk away, followed by Roger, but the cat jumps on his head and attacks his peacock hair)

Roger Radcliffe: Not the hair, not the hair!

Juniper Lee: Oh, boy. I don't think this sleepover can get any weirder. (Ray Ray jumps in and crashes on the floor) Ray Ray, are you okay?

Ray Ray Lee: Oh, absotively. Just a wee bit tuckered is all. (flashback to Ray Ray playing a video game in the basement of the Lee residence) Yeah, I was up all night getting to level 86 on the new "Zombie Raider Fortress Hunter" video. (flashback ends) Mission accomplished. (yawns) I'm a tad weary, though, but wide awake and at your service. What do you need?

Juniper Lee: Guard the door.

Ray Ray Lee: Right.

(Monroe arrives through the window)

Juniper Lee: What took you so long?

Monroe: Oh, I had to get together my slumber party makeover kit. (jumps into the bathroom)

Juniper Lee: Makeover? We've got magic business, quit kidding around.

Monroe: Oh, yes. "Kidding around". That's what that was. (His makeover kit drops various makeover on the floor) Whoops! (puts his makeover away) I, uh, I seemed to grab the wrong... tool kit, yeah.

Juniper Lee: That's an awful lot of lipstick for a dog.

Monroe: Well, sometimes I like to feel pretty! So what's the emergency?

Juniper Lee: I need you to tell me what's wrong with this creature.

Monroe: What creature?

(Juniper sees that the purple creature is gone and the door is open with Ray Ray sleeping beside the wall)

Juniper Lee: Oh, stay here with Sleeping Beauty. I'll go find it. (runs out of the bathroom and closes the door)

Doing Hair Makeovers

(The purple creature summons more strange stones that crawl and place themselves all over the living room and glow. Cut to Lila in Jody's room where Jody, Ophelia and Roger give her hair a makeover)

Roger Radcliffe: Dudes, I wonder what she'd look like bald?

Ophelia Ramírez: Ooh, excellent question. (takes out a razor, but the power goes out) Aw, man!

Roger Radcliffe: Whoa! Must be an eclipse.

Ophelia Ramírez: Yes, inside at night. Those are the worst kinds.

Jody Irwin: No! The power can't go out! (takes out her hair dryer, hair curler and hair crimper) If we don't have electricity, we can't our hair. If we can't blow dry, or curl, or crimp, all our hair will set and we'll look like freaks! I can't look a freak!

Lila: Well, I know how we, you know, could finish without electricity.

Ophelia Ramírez: Really? How?

(Cut to later with jars of fireflies and cactus)

Jody Irwin: I've never seen so many fireflies. No big ol' bats are gonna snack on you guys now.

Lila: It's not so hard to catch them if you got a few stocks of sweet cactus. Fireflies love it. Now, just another minute, Ophelia.

Ophelia Ramírez: Take you time, girlfriend. I am digging hurricane, Lila! (Lila blows her hair dry with two big leaves)

Lila: (giggles) Oh, Jody, your hair's probably done now.

Jody Irwin: (takes off her cap to reveal her hair look like a bird swing as a bird flies on the swing) Neat! And what's in here to make my hair so manageable?

Lila: Oh, that's gel from Eucalyptus leaves. (squirts gel from a tree branch and rubs it on Ophelia's hair)

Roger Radcliffe: And what's in my mud pack? Feels awesome!

Lila: Uh, mud... and ground-up insects.

Roger Radcliffe: Cool!

Ophelia Ramírez: Where'd you learn all this nature junk?

Lila: Oh, I just grew up with it... uh, I mean with my parents. They were, uh, forest rangers. I know all kinds of nature junk.

Ophelia Ramírez: It's pretty cool.

Jody Irwin: (comes in) It sure is.

Roger Radcliffe: (looks at himself in a mirror with his mud pack) I concur. (The cat jumps on him and attacks him again)

(Cut to the hallway where the purple creature drops more of the strange stones and they crawl, when it hears Rachel and hides)

Rachel Irwin: I called you 34 times, and you never call back, Brandon! (comes out of her room) Oh, sure! (the electricity goes back on) I tell you not to call me, and you don't call me?! I hate you, don't call me! (goes back to her room)

(Juniper enters as the purple creature comes out from behind a drawer and Juniper picks up the creature when Rachel pops her head out her door)

Rachel Irwin: What did I say about KEEPING QUIET?! (her phone rings and she answers it) Hello? What took you so long to call me, Brandon? WHAT?! DON'T CALL ME EVER AGAIN! (walks back to her room)

(Cut to Jody, whose hair resembles a tiki head, running with Lila chasing after her)

Lila: Jody, wait! I'm not done!

Jody Irwin: You said I was dry, I gotta show June! You totally need to hang out with us more often. (she opens the door of the bathroom to find Ray Ray and Monroe experimenting with makeup)

Ray Ray Lee: Personally, I like to use a little liner. Helps give the illusion of fuller thicker lips, but...

(Jody, Lila, Roger, and Ophelia sees Ray Ray and Monroe in the bathroom)

Ray Ray Lee: Uh, this totally isn't what it looks like. We're...we're...(snoring)

(Juniper enters and hides the purple creature)

Jody Irwin: June, what's your brother doing here with your dog?

Ray Ray Lee: (he wakes) I was just gonna explain that sometimes, uh, Monroe won't let anyone else walk him except you. We can't exactly have him poopin' all over the house, right?

Ophelia Ramírez: Yeah, but that really doesn't explain the makeup.

Juniper Lee: Um, sorry, guys. Come on, Monroe, let mommy take you for a walkie.

Investigating the Purple Creature

(Cut to Juniper, Ray Ray, Monroe and Lila in the backyard to investigate the purple creature)

Juniper Lee: So what's wrong with him?

Monroe: Well, in my professional opinion... (checks the purple creature who smiles) ...nothing, he's faking it.

Lila: Told ya.

Juniper Lee: Faking? But he's so cute.

Monroe: Well, there's one way to find out for sure: peel him like a grape!

Lila: (puts rubber gloves on her hands) With pleasure.

Purple Creature: Whoa, whoa, whoa! That won't be necessary. I'm feeling, uh... so much better now, thank you.

Juniper Lee: Why, you little...!

Monroe: He's a Monotuke, Juniper, and you can never trust a Monotuke. They're notorious con men and thieves, and if he's here, he must be up to something.

Monotuke: Oh, come on! Where is this comin' from? I'm just an honest, hard-working enchanted creature trying to make it in this big, cruel magical world. (his strange stones fall out)

Monroe: Oh, is that what you're carting around Arachnid Locator Stones? That's dark magic, bucko! (to Juniper, Ray Ray and Lila) He must be summoning some very nasty customers.

Monotuke: You know, you're very knowledgeable for a dog wearing cheap makeup.

Monroe: Who you calling cheap, you mutant fireplug!

Ophelia Ramírez: (as her and Roger's hairdos are tied together) Lila, dork face here mashed our 'dos together!

Roger Radcliffe: I suppose we might have to live like this forever.

Jody Irwin: (carrying a bowl of hair dye) When you pry them apart, you need to dye my head a second coat.

(The Monotuke freezes them with a wand)

Monotuke: Everybody just stay right where you are!

Juniper Lee: You let them go!

Monotuke: I will. Everybody gets to go just as soon as the comet gets here.

(We pan up to the sky to see the comet heading down)

Defeating the Monotuke and the Unglian Banticores

(The comet continues heading down as the Monotuke points his wand at Juniper, Ray Ray, Monroe and Lila)

Juniper Lee: You're trying to bring down the comet? That'll fry all of us!

Monroe: Not exactly, darling. That's not a comet, that's an Edumian Prison Orb. They're used to contain creatures that can't be banished. (to the Monotuke) Let me guess. You're using those Arachnid Locator Stones to pull the comet out of orbit and spring some of your buddies.

Monotuke: A few of my buddies. Just some Unglian Banticores from the 9th cycle. (jumps off the table) I figure between me and the Banticores, we'll be runnin' this burg before sun up. So thanks, little girl. All I needed was a nice, safe place to activate my locator stones. (Juniper glares at him) I hope the "cute, widdle guy" wasn't too much of a disappointment. (laughs evilly)

(Juniper, Ray Ray and Lila glare at the Monotuke, but when Lila sees Jody's bowl of hair dye above the laughing Monotuke, this gives her an idea: she stomps her foot on the ground, causing it to vibrate and the bowl of hair dye falls out of Jody's hands and spills on the Monotuke, knocking him out)

Lila: Well, you can't do too much now that you've dyed! (to Juniper) I don't mean "dead-die", I mean "dyed from the hair dye", 'cause he's covered in hair dye.

Ray Ray Lee: (laughing) I get it! (continues laughing) Mostly. (snoring as Juniper shakes her head in annoyance)

(Inside, the Arachnid Locator Stones activate to summon the Edumian Prison Orb closer to their direction)

Monroe: INCOMING!!!

(They retreat into the house with Juniper grabbing the sleeping Ray Ray and the knocked-out Monotuke, and the prison orb lands somewhere in the woods and the Unglian Banticores jump out, summoning their harpoon tip-like spears, blasting the trees)

Juniper Lee: (looks out the window) Looks like we've got our hands full. Monroe, we can't banish these guys, right?

Monroe: No, but I can summon another Edumian Prison Orb and lock these jokers back up... (points to the Monotuke) ...and square britches here.

Juniper Lee: Ray Ray, keep an eye on Ophelia, Jody and Roger. (Ray Ray nods) And Lila, I think you and me will be giving some folks a makeover.

Lila: (smacking her fist into her palm) Yeah! But I think we should beat up these Banticores first.

(Cut to the woods where the Unglian Banticores are walking, but turn to see Juniper and Lila charging towards them. They blast their spears to fire them, but miss. Juniper jumps up a tree and jumps off it to avoid one Banticore's blast as another blast hits another branch. Juniper kicks the Banticore down, but the second one shows up behind her. Lila sees this, growls, roars and runs to help her. The second Banticore attempts to strike Juniper with its spear, but Lila grabs the spear, twirls it and throws the Banticore to a tree. Juniper and Lila charge towards the Banticores while Monroe does an incantation to summon another prison orb in the house. As he is chanting the spell in magical language, the Monotuke wakes up and tries to leave, but Monroe uses a wand to slam the door closed)

Monroe: Sit down, ugly, your ride's not here yet.

(Cut back to the fight with the Banticores attmepting to fire their spears at Juniper, but she avoids the blasts and she regroups with Lila. Lila grabs Juniper's hands, twirls her and throws her at one Banticore as the second Banticore tries to strike her with it's spear, but she avoids it, grabs the spear and throws it off the Banticore. Juniper jumps on a tree behind the first Banticore as it tries to hit her with it's spear, cutting the tree to pieces, but she knocks it down while pinning it down with it's spear. In the house, Monroe continues chanting the spell, and with the incantation of another Edumian Prison Orb complete, the Monotuke gets sucked in the prison orb. Juniper and Lila punch one Banticore down as the Edumian Prison Orb appears behind them. Juniper and Lila charge towards the Banticores, jump and knock the Banticores into the Edumian Prison Orb as it flies up to the sky and disappears. Juniper and Lila high five and look up proudly. Fade to them in Jody's room in the house)

Juniper Lee: And you thought you weren't gonna have any fun at the slumber party.

Lila: (giggles)

Monroe: (comes in looking stylish) So tell me, how's my new look? Am I totally styling or what?

Ray Ray Lee: I believe or what describes you perfectly, man. (laughs but starts snoring again)

Jody Irwin: (comes in with Ophelia) Hey, could we borrow you for a sec?

Juniper Lee: Oh, uh, sure thing, guys. (about to go over, but...)

Ophelia Ramírez: Actually, hello? It's Lila. We need her magic touch to finish up Roger.

Roger Radcliffe: (comes in with his half-done braided hair) Nobody's hands are strong enough to braid the other side.

(Lila smiles and goes over to them)

Juniper Lee: (to Monroe) So, looks like our little Bigfoot's gonna be fitting in quite nicely. (loud roaring is heard) Or not.

Epilogue: The Monotuke with Rachel's Stuff

Rachel Irwin: Will all of you SHUT UP!!! Brandon is going to call me back, and we're going to get back together. I don't want any interruptions! (goes into her room to find all of her stuff gone) AAH! WHERE'S MY STUFF?!

(Cut to the Monotuke placing Rachel's stuff down)

Unglian Banticore: Jeez, Larry, stealing from a little girl?

Larry: Hey, it was slim pickings! (Rachel's phone rings and he answers in) Yello? May I ask who's calling? Brandon? Nope, Rachel can't come to the phone, she's on a date. (he laughs with the Banticores)

(Episode ends)