A Helping H.A.M./Script

The transcript of A Helping H.A.M..

Intro

(The episode is set at an office building.)

LOUD EMPLOYEE: Twelve YEARS I've been at this company, Ted, TWELVE! I work nights, weekends, holidays... I haven't even been home to shower in three weeks, smell me!

EMPLOYEE: We appreciate all your hard work...

EMPLOYEE: And that's why I'm getting moved into the basement?!?

("Ted" activates the elevator)

EMPLOYEE: Don't worry. It's a promotion.

(elevator dings and starts dropping at a high speed, plastering LOUD EMPLOYEE )

EMPLOYEE: You don't really work for the Maywell corporation. What you 'really' work for... (LOUD EMPLOYEE drops)

EMPLOYEE: ...is 'this'. (door opens to reveal a futuristic-looking hangar of planes, soldiers shooting at something invisible. "Ted" attaches a new name-card to the Loud Employee and suddenly monsters being shot at and captured appear.

EMPLOYEE: Welcome to H.A.M. Humans Against Magic. (the elevator floor detaches and hovers off carrying both the employees.)

EMPLOYEE: An organization whose sole purpose is to rid the world of magical beings.

(Loud e,ployee and "Ted" pass around a metal orb construction, the camera zooms into the orb, revealing a table of H.A.M. workers.)

LEX: Gentlemen. Despite our efforts we are losing our fight against magic.

LEX: It continues to spread like a disease.