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A Helping H.A.M. is the thirty-eighth episode of the show and twelfth episode of season three.


Fed up with the lack of respect, Monroe joins the secret organization known as H.A.M. when he is accidentally captured instead of June. Can June and Ray-Ray find Monroe before he ends up training a Zolera Beast?


Two office workers descend via elevator as one complains he's been working for twelve years at the company, the other one coolly responds that him being moved tot he basement is actually a promotion: He then says the other worker hasn't been working for the "Maywell Company" and reveals to him the headquarters of "Humans Against Magic". The organization known as Humans Against Magic needs better ways to infiltrate and defeat magic and their leader knows just the way: they need to recruit the magical being closest to the dealings of magic: the Te Xuan Ze. June is fighting a Glimmer Monster but continues to ignore Monroe's long-winded advice, resulting in the whole ordeal staying unsolved and the monster multiplying into smaller Glimmer Monsters that get away from Juniper. Later, June asks Monroe if he has thought about stepping down from the position of advisor to Te Xuan Ze, to which Ray Ray starts asking if they could get another talking pet. This hurts Monroe's feelings and angered by the kids' actions, he runs out of June's room. Meanwhile, H.A.M. are making their way into the Lee household via help of a shape-shifting monster named Gorp who they've captured and forced into working for them. When the thief gets back from the house though, they find Monroe in his bag instead of Juniper. Monroe explains that he's been doing the job of advisor to Te Xuan Ze too long and is the most under-appreciated for it and decided to come along with them willingly, to join H.A.M., stating that magic needs to be put under control. The leader of the organization explains in turn that they would need a parasitic Zolera beast trained for their use to drain magical creatures of their energy. Monroe agrees and gets to work, requiring from them a long list special terms and conditions for preparation of getting the beast under control.

In actuality, Monroe has already concocted a different plan for escaping the facilities and taking H.A.M. down but when he calls the Lee household with his makeshift phone, Ray Ray answers and completely brushes him off. June gets old of the phone and is surprised and ready to help while Ray Ray gets a few more jabs at Monroe for getting caught in the first place. The kids decide to come to his rescue. They disguise themselves as employees of the organizations cover company but everything galls apart when one of the employees there announces free chocolate. Ray Ray can't help but try and ask for some and though June warns him about it, she eventually gets so annoyed with him that she blows their cover herself. The leader of H.A.M. is observing their progress from his board-room and decides to put his final plans int motion when he notices something wrong about the room Monroe is held in. He threatens Monroe who smugly reveals that he was never working for them anyway, showing him the tracker on his collar to boot.

The kids catch up but in the struggle the Zolera beast gets released and general havoc is unleashed with the beast destroying the underground laboratory and grabbing all the H.A.M. soldiers, making way for itself through them and scaring away their leader. June and Ray Ray observe all of this with an unconscious Monroe from a large hole in the ceiling and sighs to herself, feeling pity for the H.A.M. soldiers and deciding to help. She manages to beat it down enough that all the soldiers run away and the leader comes back to help her defeat it. June and the leader of H.A.M. subdue it slightly but as the leader is about to smash its' head in, the beast gets the upper hand and smashes him away and starts zapping up June's magical energy again. Monroe then wakes up from above the fight from the hole in the ceiling, stopping the beast and saying he did actually train the Zolera beast, but, to only obey him. The organization is defeated and Monroe orders "Geoffrey" to return all of June's magic back to her.

Finally, June and Monroe reconcile, with June admitting that he as actually been a pretty good teacher so far. They are interrupted by Ray Ray asking them from beneath the still rampaging Glimmer Monsters if they're just gonna talk all day or actually work too. June salutes Monroe and then takes heed of his earlier advice, finishing the work faster than ever.

Credits Clip

The leader and the rest of H.A.M. are at the Orchid Bay Unemployment Agency after H.A.M. HQ is destroyed.



  • The Leader of H.A.M. is credited as just that "Ham Leader" in this episode's credits, but fans had given him the nickname "Lex" after the first episode he appeared in as well as because of his voice actor voicing Lex Luthor on Warner Brother's "Justice League".
  • We learn that Monroe is known by outside circles as the Guardian Advisor, serving the Magical Elders and the Te Xuan Ze.
  • We learn that Lex originally wanted to learn magic, but was shunned by the magical communities because he was a regular human and caused an accident that gave him the scarred face he has now.
  • The list of items Monroe uses to build a make-shift phone and otherwise double-cross H.A.M. are as follows: A four-pronged pitchfork, one electric scooter, two bottles of sunscreen, four-teen AA batteries, one typewriter and three sticks of strawberry chewing gum.
  • Kathy from the coffee-shop scene in Bada Bing Bada Boomfist works at H.A.M.'s "Maywell company" cover.
  • This is one of the few times that June's own magical energy gets drained briefly.
  • The Wilhelm Scream Can Be Heard When a guard gets caught by a monster.
  • Ending Tagline: "You can take the shower on the can!" and (flushes) - "'Gorp"' in the H.A.M. vehicle.


Lex: Our mission was a success!
(Empties bag expecting the Te Xuan Ze in it)
Lex: The dog??
Lex: You captured the dog???
Lex: You were supposed to take the Te Xuan Ze!
Gorp: Well I was, but he insisted on coming.
Lex: Excuse me?
Monroe: That's right, sign me up, I'm in!
Monroe: I'd like to join H.A.M.